So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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