idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
