Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
