Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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