He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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