i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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