Porn is love you can see.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
