thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
