whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
