Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I forget how to act sober
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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