Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
