He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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