Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize