Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
There's even glitter on my cock...
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