He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
