Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
