just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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