Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize