i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
