im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So many bounce houses so little time
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Are we still banned from the library?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
