This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I understand Curling. That high.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Randomize
