I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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