I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
