no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
