from now on my penis is your penis
Michael Bay diarrhea
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
a search helicopter?!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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