We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize