when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize