my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize