just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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