he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
