Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
