it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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