1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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