Its about making memories worth repressing
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
