new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
