i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
What do you mean you havenโt had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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