I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
