Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
