oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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