don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Your penis caused this!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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