oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
