Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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