Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
