im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
