is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize