Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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