he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
