dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
