I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize