Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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