The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
