Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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