"it" just moved
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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