She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
