No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
