Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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