I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
