New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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