we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
