Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
